Edition #032 | SERVICE | The Unasked Question | Tuesday, April 7, 2026

Everyone is talking. Nobody is asking. You wait for the other person to stop talking so you can start. And then you wonder why nobody comes to you when they are struggling.

Let's get into it.

Drawing out deep water takes patience and intention. You cannot rush it. You cannot fake it. You ask the real question, you sit in the silence, and you let the other person decide how much to share. That is insight in action.

Mark Goulston spent his career as a psychiatrist, FBI hostage negotiation trainer, and business advisor. His book ‘Just Listen’ became a guide for leaders who understand that influence begins not with what you say but with how deeply you listen. His work proves that the fastest way to earn trust is to make the other person feel genuinely heard.

That is the unasked question in one sentence. The words people use are the surface. The meaning lives in what they hold back. When you learn to hear the silence, you hear so much better.

The Unasked Question

Every person you interact with is like a lake seen from above. The surface looks calm. Maybe a few ripples. But underneath there are currents running in every direction that nobody sees from shore. The unasked question cuts through that surface, “What is really going on with you right now?”

When you ask that and stay silent long enough for the real answer, you become something rare to others. You become perceived as safe to others. And people who feel safe around you will trust you with things they do not trust anyone else with. It’s true and I can tell you from experiences that it helps you to become a better version of yourself.

So today, find one person you see regularly but have never asked a real question. A coworker, a sibling, a neighbor. Ask them, “What is something going on in your life right now that nobody has asked you about?” Then be quiet. Do not fill the silence. Let them answer. Listen without fixing anything.

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